Coffee Mixes

Why is this so hard? Tossing three products that I KNOW are not the healthiest or best choice for me. Naturally and artificially flavored drink mixes. The first ingredient is sugar! Partially hydrogenated oil-check, artificial flavor-check, mono and diglycerides-check (what are those anyway?). They don’t have caffeine though! Like that makes up for all the rest of the not great stuff in there. Why do I love these?
I love the whole process of heating the water in a teapot on the stove. Putting the powdered stuff into my cute mug (of which I have many) and stir it up. Going magically from clear water to light yummy smooth brown. The texture becomes thicker than the water originally started with and oh so creamy and delicious. ::sigh::
One final cup of the French vanilla flavored one. Savoring the sips and realizing it’s not THAT good. Not worth my health. Doesn’t make me feel fulfilled in even the smallest of ways.
I remember my grandma drinking this stuff the few times she visited. I don’t see very often and don’t have a close relationship with, she might not even drink that substance anymore. I don’t know if in some way by drinking this I can become closer to her. Even looking at the packaging makes me think of her-that little square metal canister with the plastic lid. So a bit of emotional stuff to with it I guess. What’s sad is as I am realizing these things (looking internally) I am also thinking-how dumb can you be?! Believing the relationship with my grandma will improve from a drink! Instead of being gentle with myself, realize this IS healing and being proud of myself and enjoying the process of exploration.
Easier said that done.
I would rather leave the internal examination for the proctologists!
I am not going to heal on this stuff. It’s not even a very good band-aid for healing a non-existent relationship with my grandma. Instead of drinking it maybe I should spend the time, pick up the phone and call her or write her a letter.
I read the bottom of the container and they are expired! If I wasn’t ready to toss out the powder and recycle the container-I am now!!
Goodbye coffee mixes. Goodbye.

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