Ding Dongs

Mr. B brought home ding dongs and ho-hos last night. He didn’t know if I could have them or not. He must have needed them or something.

So that evening they called me from the cabinet. I don’t even LIKE them! We used to get ding dongs in our lunches once in a great while. I liked them ok then, it was more the idea of the special treat, not the taste that I liked. I felt like my mom really loved us because of this little plastic wrapped gift. She put ours in a Ziploc sandwich bag because they used to come in packages of two and, my brother and I, would each get one. I think. My memory of childhood isn’t always clear or accurate. I really remember feeling special and taken care of because she made our lunches and packed in this extra special treat on occasion.

I shut out their calling by eating the rest of my DQ cotton-candy blizzard. Another blog…

The next morning I took them off the cabinet to put them in husband’s “forbidden” cabinet. Forbidden to me-not him. Out of sight out of mind as they say. Of course on the way up there one of the somehow fell out of the box and I just had to eat it. It was all alone. Pulling open the white wrap the first glimpse of the dark brown, slightly round thing in my hand was disappointing. Who decided making something perfectly round, almost black, slightly polished-looking was appetizing. First bite had the bit of crunch as I broke into the icing layer. The white goo in the middle is almost alien in it’s brightness. It reminds me of the teeth all the famous people are sporting. Bleached, unnatural and totally blinding in its intensity. It has a taste of something unrecognizable and somewhat indescribable, sweeter than straight sugar with a slick texture. My mouth feels coated in some grease. No good feelings of love here. I finish it hoping the experience will improve, to no avail.

The ingredients. Contains wheat, milk, egg and soybeans. First ingredient is sugar. Water is the second (somewhat surprising to me) and the third is enriched bleached wheat flour. There are partially hydrogenated vegetable oils, high fructose corn syrup, partially hydrogenated vegetable and/or animal shortening (soybean, beef fat). I feel sick. My mouth is coated in animal shortening. Poor cow. I am so sorry.

Unfortunately theses two products will stay in the forbidden cabinet. I don’t plan on getting into a discussion with husband about this stuff. Those are his childhood memories in that box too I am sure. I hope he comes to the realization of them sooner rather than later. In the meantime, I will drink water to help facilitate its removal through my system.

Maybe some fiber too…


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