Misc Chaos

Lessons from Gremlin

This is my dog. Her name is Gremlin, I like to call her Grems, Gremalacious and Gremenstein-depending on her behavior. She is almost 13 years old (I think) and has been with our family for over 5 years of her life. Prior to our home she was in a puppy mill. :sniffles: One word is all I can say about that: ADOPT!

So, some lessons I have learned from my little black furry pal (spoken by her to me):

(Apparently I am the easily manipulated one (EMO) and B is the mean one (MO). I don’t know which is worse!)

1. Gray hair is sexy and distinguished. Makes one look wise. Unless you are ugly to begin with, then gray hair will not help. Luckily, I was, and still am, gorgeous!

2. Live up to your name-own it, flaunt it. Use it to your advantage. If your name is not so great, start calling yourself by it and others will follow. My friend, Jack, chose his name. The easily manipulated one wanted Gooch, he got what he wanted. My ears stick out from the sides of my head-quite wonderfully I might add. So, I was named Gremlin. As it all should be.

3. Get what you want by placing yourself front and center to get it. When I want someone to pet my luxurious fur, I place my body conveniently under their hand and wait. I always get what I want.

4. Patience in all things, eventually one gets what one wants, just make sure to see #3 and follow up with #5

5. Find your voice-bark! I use this to get back in from the outdoors-I don’t like it out there. Affects my delicate constitution. Barking drives the EMO crazy and I get let in, back to my soft bed. Aaagh. Exactly what I wanted, and got, of course.
 5a. growl. Letting others know how you feel about them in no uncertain terms always gains results.

6. Be aware of the consequences of your actions. I growl at the mean one, mostly in the evenings. My sundowner time. MO doesn’t like me ever because of it. Oh well. You win some, you loose some.

7. Give them what they want. If the ones who feed you and take care of you want you to come when they call your name, by all means do it. If it’s convenient. If it involves food or love. If it doesn’t affect what you are doing at the time.

8. Do what you want. The EMO and the MO want me to pottie outside. I don’t want to. So I don’t.

It’s good to be me!

There is more doggie stories to be read at PuddlesandPiles.blogspot.com


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