Ponder

In 6 years…

I just finished reading an article about Angelina Jolie in January’s issue of Marie Claire magazine. She has an Oscar, six kids, a husband, U.N.-certified activist, has written and directed a movie (In the Land of Blood and Honey), and looks amazing. She is 36 years old.

After the initial feeling of jealousy and envy wore off, I got to thinking.

What do I want to have on my list of accomplishments for my life when I turn 36?

A lot.

I have a huge list of stuff written down. Lots of goals, plans ideas and intentions. A list of 100 dreams-for this year alone.

All of these things are nothing new to me. I frequently pen such to-do lists throughout the year, not just at the start.

But did it make a difference?

Yes, I achieved some of what I set out to do.

However, for me, I focus entirely too much on the destination, the end goal, and wind up hating the journey. Just want to get to the end. Reap the rewards. Hurry hurry. What’s next on the list? Do, Do, Do.

Some goals I did not achieve. Failure. Loser. Heavy heart.

I forgot to stop and notice all of the wonderful around me. The people, the scenery, the feelings.

Most of what drove me before was the desire for money.  Lots of money. The green stuff represents security, freedom and independence. I wanted hundreds of thousands of it. Never made that goal. I chose to work 4 jobs at a time so I could what? Afford more junk? Go out to eat more?

I certainly, and unfortunately, was not spending it on experiences, quality time with loved ones, fostering contentment in my soul. Those things can be completely free.

Is money THAT important?

Sure, money buys choices and those are important. But how much is enough?

I wanted some fame too. People to know who I was, especially those I had never met.

I needed to feed the ego.

So what if I die and the only people who knew me were friends and family? Mine and their opinion is the only one that matters anyway. Who cares if other people know me?

What IF by living my life, just the way I want to, I would have everything I need and inspire others. Just by being ME. Authentic. Content. Loving and love.

So where to start on this shift?

Clean and Simple

Start with asking (and answering as clearly as possible)

What do I love to do?

What do I want?

Who do I want to be?

So simple and yet, no so easy…

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