Mothering Warriors · Ponder

This Place, Real Life

This blog is not my real life.
I write here, my voice, my experiences.
Most of what happens stays behind the blog.
I am sporadic, yet think about writing everyday.
I want to be honest, yet edit my writing.
I don’t know why I blog, yet know the importance of having a “why.”
I constantly compare myself to other bloggers/writers and come up lacking.

Blogging isn’t fun for me.
If given free moments, the first thing I want to do is sleep, read, sit in silence, stretch, paint my nails, eat.
Not blog. Not social network. Those feel like obligations. Crummy ones at that.

I understand needing to do the things I don’t want to in order to get the life I want. I don’t think blogging falls into such a category.

Plus, I write while in the trenches. Not yet through to the other side with the lessons. A very dark place to be and not fun to share. Questions. Zero answers. Frustration. Not uplifting or helpful to me, or anyone else.
I read other blogs and  (when not comparing myself to their lives) am uplifted, encouraged to make changes. I enjoy telling others about their words via Twitter (https://twitter.com/SimpleEmpress). Short and sweet.

I want to lift up myself and others through my words. I don’t need to do that through long, sporadic posts. I need a bit of an uplift everyday. Differences in the everyday moments. Not a giant change in the world.

Lately it seems my role is to be behind the scenes. A supporting role in other people’s lives. I have finally accepted this new position. (I hope it’s only for a season!). I am here to support my husband, my son, my new Super Sprout, others on their MS journey and whoever else needs help. Mostly, I want to support myself in my journey to be the best me I can be. That’s personal work. One that is tender and needs to be protected.
So, what to do.

1. Continue
      Keep at it. Try some blogging resolutions (http://www.steadymom.com/2009/09/some-blogging-resolutions.html)

2. Quit.
     Seems like a huge let down.

3. Take a break.
            Not an option. I know if I ever did come back, I would want to create/start something brand new.

This just isn’t my season for maintaining a blog.

Truthfully, #2 seems like the best option for me. I want to let this go to make space for something new. Something wonderful. Something more ME.

So, I will continue to read other blogs. Comment and share what I read. Spread the good words of others.  Keep mine to myself. For now…

Hang out with me on Twitter instead!  https://twitter.com/SimpleEmpress

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